My wife and I, accompanied by our two daughters, are on a mythical quest today. Our son elects to stay home at the Acropolis, deeming our quest as foolhardy, to say the least, opting to dedicate his allotted time to the study of advanced Arithmetic and an emerging field of intellectualism named Pokémon, presumably imported from the far-reaching edges of the Orient or beyond.

We seek the fabled Shoes of Levitation, the footwear of the goddess Nike, that enable all athletes (donned with such heavenly gifts) with an unimaginable vertical leap, in the sport of basketball. As we would soon discover, the product of youth shoes—specifically designed for female basketball players—is as much of a fable as the hero Jason, his crew of Argonauts, and the Golden Fleece.

On this seventh day of the week, we had concluded our prayers to the gods, seeking wisdom and guidance in locating the fabled footwear. After our bellies were full of numerous beverages, a hot meal of soup, and wedged pumpkin treats, remaining from last week’s offering to the gods of Thanksgiving, our band of four adventurers set out on the arduous journey.

Our destination lay before us, in a small business district called Tanger. The large outpost of commercial vendors is well known for a wide variety of products—both worldly and extraordinary, at deeply-discounted prices—and it is here that we anticipated good fortune in locating the Shoes of Levitation.

Full of hope and determination, we visited each suitable vendor who may potentially provide two pair of the fabled footwear for my youthful athletes. As we encountered a new business establishment, we would furnish a description of the item that we were seeking. Each individual merchant would provide their most knowledgeable representative in hopes of unraveling our footwear mystery.

Each inquiry was met with a similar response that such shoes did not actually exist, nor would they be accessible to mere mortals such as ourselves; furthermore, the quest for said footwear was a foolhardy dedication of time. By the power of Zeus’s thunderbolt, we were not prepared to declare such immediate failure.

In the most unlikely collection of wares and goods, we found a suitable solution to our dilemma: a single pair of properly sized Shoes of Levitation, although the quantity which we required was that of two. Additionally, the physical appearance of this specific specimen—resembling a thunderous charcoal sky—was not satisfactory with either of the two young women who wished to adorn themselves in the footwear of Nike, goddess of victory.

It was determined by our youthful athletes that in order to bring victory to our citadel, and honor to our family, another colorful scheme must be located—matching the endless beauty of Aphrodite, preferably one of black and pink palette—and our attention was directed to a global merchant who made wild promises of delivery the following day, thus we returned to the Acropolis. Finally, on the following day, our patience was rewarded. The global merchant sent private word to my home, via a curious means of communication, indicating that two pair of properly sized (and adorned) shoes were ready for my clan of athletes.

With haste I grab my sandals and cloak, sprinting to the merchant’s quarters. Upon arrival I inspect both pair of Shoes of Levitation, and, delighted by the good fortune of Tyche as she smiled on my family, I cheerfully place a leather pouch overflowing with hundreds of drachmae on his table. Feeling no need to count the coins, the merchant hands me a parchment to record my purchase, waves his hand in the air to dismiss me, finally sending me on my way back home.